Chasing Abby (Shattered Hearts Book 6) Read online

  “Full throttle?” I say, pulling my shampoo, conditioner, and body wash out of my backpack. “I’m going to make sure to tell my parents we went full throttle in the shower.”

  He spins around and his eyes are wide with surprise. “Turtledove, I’m shocked.”

  I laugh as I pull my pajamas out of my backpack and set them down on the bathroom counter. “Get out.”

  After a long shower, my muscles are warm and relaxed. I enter Caleb’s bedroom and find the lamp on, but he’s not here. I set my backpack on the floor and head for the living room. He’s laid out on the sofa watching a political satire show on the comedy channel. He watches me as I approach, then I lie down on top of him, nuzzling my head into the crook of his neck.

  “You smell like sunshine,” he whispers, planting a soft kiss on the top of my head.

  “We can do this, right?”

  He knows I’m referring to living together, so he doesn’t skip a beat with his reply. “We can do anything you want.”

  I lie still for a moment, listening to the beat of his heart beneath me. “I want to go to sleep… with you… roomie.”

  After Caleb showers and we settle into his freshly laundered sheets, I sneak back into his nook and he holds me until I fall asleep. When I wake seven hours later, I’m surprised to find neither of us has changed positions. My face is still mashed against his neck and his hand is still wrapped loosely around my shoulders. It’s almost as if God is trying to tell us something. “See, Abby. You’re still you and Caleb is still Caleb. Everything is going to be just fine.”

  WE PICK UP AMY at nine a.m., as planned, then we have breakfast at McDonald’s before we head back to my house. Caleb and I have breakfast on Saturdays quite often, and he drives me everywhere, so my mom won’t suspect anything when we show up in his car. They won’t know that Caleb and I just did a trial run on our soon-to-be new living situation and everything went great. They won’t know that I’m about to say good-bye.

  My dad is in the backyard, the sound of the hedge trimmer buzzing. My mom is in the kitchen doing the breakfast dishes. Caleb, Amy, and I enter and I grab a towel to dry the dishes that are already in the rack. I dry the first plate then hand it to Caleb for him to put away.

  “What are you doing today, Mom?”

  She casts me that suspicious sideways glance that tells me she knows I’m up to something. “I’m going to lunch with your Aunt Maddie. What are you three doing?”

  Amy opens the refrigerator and grabs the pitcher of cold water. I hand her a glass tumbler I just dried and she heads to the dining table with the glass and the entire pitcher of water.

  “We’re thinking of going to Jockey’s Ridge,” I reply, taking the clean skillet from my mom.

  “Jockey’s Ridge again? You graduated eight days ago and you’re already repeating your summer outings. Why don’t you all go to the movies or something?”

  “That’s a great idea!” I say as I hang the skillet up on the pot rack above the tiny kitchen island. “But… I have something I need to talk to you about first. Well, Caleb and I have something we need to talk to you about.”

  My mom finishes drying off her hands on a clean towel then turns around. “What do you have to talk to me about?”

  “We kind of wanted to talk to you and Dad.”

  She looks at me like I’m crazy. “Abigail, is this something serious? What is going on here?”

  “I’m not pregnant or anything, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

  She lets out a huge sigh and shakes her head. “Jesus, Abby. You scared the heck out of me. Your dad will be done soon.”

  We all retire to the living room to watch some TV while we wait for my dad. My mom puts on the Animal Planet and I know Caleb is dying to make a smart comment. Every time we sit down to watch TV with my mom, she always puts on the Animal Planet. It’s almost as if she thinks this is the only safe channel to watch with us. Caleb thought he was so clever when he bought my mom an Animal Planet Explorer lifetime membership for her last birthday.

  My dad walks in through the front door about twenty minutes later. My leg bounces impatiently as I wait for him to wash his hands and find us in the living room. When he comes out of the kitchen, he chuckles when he sees us all sitting down together and staring straight at him.

  “Is this some kind of meeting of the minds? How’d it go last night, sweetheart?”

  “It was great!” I reply quickly, shooting a glance at Amy.

  “It was awesome, Mr. Jensen,” Amy begins. “We went for some fro-yo, then we watched pay-per-view porn all night.”

  “Amy!” my mom shrieks while Caleb and I laugh.

  “Oh, sorry. Was I not supposed to tell them about that?” Amy asks with a smile.

  I can always count on her to completely erase any doubt that we were together. Though, according to Amy, my parents never called her all night. My mom did call me around ten o’clock to make sure I was okay and that I’d taken my nightly meds. But other than that, my sleepover with Caleb went off without a hitch. It’s almost frightening how easy it is to lie to my parents. Maybe I can lie to them about living off-campus with Caleb.

  No, I could never pull that off. The stress alone would kill me.

  And speaking of stress, here goes nothing.

  “Mom, Dad. Caleb and I are going to share an apartment off-campus this fall.”

  “What?” my mom and dad bellow.

  “That is not even funny, Abby,” my mom says, her mouth hanging open as she waits for me to tell her this is a joke.

  “Your mom’s right,” my dad agrees. “The porn joke was funny, but this is not.”

  “It’s not a joke!” I shout as I push up from the sofa. “I’m eighteen years old. I’m allowed to live with whomever I choose and I want to live with Caleb. He knows me better than anyone. He knows when I’m stressed. He knows when I need to take my meds. He knows how to take care of me better than any random roommate ever will.” I look at Caleb and he has his head down, but I can see a shadow of a smile on his lips. “And we love each other.”

  “Was this your idea?” my dad roars.

  Caleb raises his head and I’m pleased to find he looks more surprised than scared. “No, sir. This was not my idea, but Abby’s right. I can take care of her better than anyone. I’d rather have her with me where I know she’s safe.”

  My dad narrows his eyes and nods his head. “Where she’s safe? Sure, that’s exactly why you want to live with her. Do you two really think I’m that stupid?”

  Caleb and my mom stand from the sofa at the same time, but I speak first. “We don’t think you’re stupid, Dad. We thought you’d be more understanding.”

  “You thought I’d understand that my eighteen-year-old daughter and her eighteen-year-old boyfriend want to live together?” His glare is seething with a rage I’ve never seen on my father. “You thought I’d understand that you seem determined to repeat your parents’ mistakes?”

  The room is so quiet after my father speaks these words, I can almost hear the tears welling up in my eyes. Everyone in this room knows what “parents” my father is referring to. And this is the first clue about their story that I’ve ever been given. And it only saddens me more that he used this piece of information to hurt me.

  “How could you say that to me?” I whisper.

  “Abby, you don’t know what you’re proposing. This is bigger than just picking a roommate,” my mom says, reaching for my arm, but I push her away. “Your father’s right. Accidents happen and you’re not physically or emotionally prepared to deal with something like that. You two need to finish college first before you start a life together.”

  “I’m not emotionally prepared? I’m too fragile?” I shake my head. “You two don’t know me at all. Maybe I am more like my other parents.”

  “Your father didn’t mean that.”

  I grab Caleb’s hand and pull him toward the front door as Amy follows behind us. “That’s okay, because I think it’s time for me to
find out for myself.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  I CARRY THE STACK of photos for Abby as we cross the bank parking lot toward the ’Cuda. Her hands were shaking while we were inside that vault and the last thing I need is for her to drop the pictures in the middle of the parking lot and get hit by a car as she tries to pick them up. Yeah, I know it sounds totally far-fetched. But I’m in charge of keeping Abby safe now. And I can’t rule out the possibility of her being mowed down by a car, now that every possible thing that could go wrong today has gone wrong.

  I knew her dad and mom wouldn’t take the news about Abby and me moving in together well, but I didn’t expect them to deliver such a low blow. Though I know her father said what he said out of desperation, it doesn’t excuse the fact that he hurt her. If he weren’t her father, I would have punched him in the throat. But he is Abby’s father. The only father she’s ever known, until today. And he’s just scared of losing her.

  I open the passenger door for Abby and she slides in. I hand her the stack of photos, then I round the back of the car and get inside. We sit in silence for a moment as she stares at the picture on the top of the stack.

  I can’t fucking believe Chris Knight is Abby’s dad. If we hadn’t seen their family portrait first, I might have believed it was just a picture her birth parents had snapped of a celebrity holding Abby. But we did see that family photo. And the only teenage girl in that picture had brown hair. The baby in that picture with Chris Knight is clearly Abby with her golden blonde hair and wide brown eyes. I’ve seen a million baby pictures of Abby, but this one definitely puts the others in perspective.

  She moves the photo on top to the bottom of the stack and the next picture is of the brown-haired girl from the family photo. She’s obviously younger in this one, about eight or nine years old. She’s clutching a picture to her chest. It’s a photo of Abby I’ve seen before. This one seems to be too much for her. She turns the entire stack of photos over so they’re facedown in her lap.

  “I have a sister,” she whispers.

  “And a couple of brothers,” I say. “The youngest one looks like you, doesn’t he?”

  She looks up, her brow furrowed. “You think so?”

  Her fair skin is glistening with tears. How could her parents keep this from her for so long? She could have used a sister and brother with everything she’s been through. Then a slightly selfish thought crosses my mind. If she’d had siblings, would Abby and I still be this close?

  I reach for the photos in her lap and she watches as I take them. It takes me a second to find the family portrait in the bottom of the stack and I hold it up between us so we can both look at it.

  “Look. He has the same blonde hair and brown eyes as you.”

  She stares at the picture for a while before she takes it in her hand to examine it up close. “He does.” Her silent tears turn into a soft whimpering cry. “These are my parents… This is the family I never knew I had.”

  I quickly sift through the photos, searching for the one of the little girl holding Abby’s picture. “But it looks like they knew about you,” I say, holding it up for her, “and you never left their thoughts.” Her shoulders tremble as they curl inward, and she clutches her fist to her chest. “Abby, are you okay?”

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  I CLAW AT THE HEAVINESS in my chest and wiggle my left shoulder a little to try to alleviate the sharp twinge in my heart. My vision goes dark for a split second and I blink furiously to hold on.

  “Abby, what’s wrong?”

  Drawing in a large gulp of air, I massage my chest until I can speak. “I’m fine. It’s just a spasm.”

  “Don’t downplay it, Abby.”

  Caleb reaches for my purse, lifting it off the floor where it rests at my feet. Then, he opens the glove compartment to get his emergency bottle of water, and moves right to my purse to retrieve the bottle of Nitrostat.

  He hands both the water and the pills to me, but I shake my head adamantly. “I don’t need the water,” I say, gritting my teeth against the pain.

  I place a sublingual tab of Nitrostat under my tongue, grimacing at the heavy peppermint flavor that seeps into my mouth as the pill dissolves. Now, we wait.

  Caleb pulls me into his arms and strokes my hair because he knows it calms me. I close my eyes and take slow, deep breaths as I wait for the pill to take effect. About three minutes later, the pain in my chest is gone and my cheeks begin to flush. I push Caleb away so I can fan my face.

  “Thank you,” I whisper, staring down at the stack of photos, which is now facedown on my lap again.

  “Drink this.” He hands me the bottle of water and I take a small sip. “How are you feeling?”

  “Exhausted.”

  “Want to go back to the apartment and take a nap?”

  I chuckle as I set the bottle of water down on the seat and lightly massage my chest. The pain is gone, but it’s relaxing.

  “I’m like a senior citizen with my heart medication and frequent napping.”

  “A senior citizen without the benefit of the early bird special.”

  I turn to him and my smile vanishes. “What am I going to do if we ever break up? I don’t want to live with my parents the rest of my life, with my mom fussing over me while I lie back and wait… wait for the time to come when my only option is a transplant. What kind of life is that?”

  “If it’s not your mom fussing over you, then it’s me. Sunshine, you just have to accept that we love you the way you are, broken heart and all. So I promise never to break up with you, if you promise me you’ll take good care of your heart. I might need it one of these days.”

  I’m burning up, and it must be showing on my cheeks because Caleb grabs a few photos off the stack and uses them to fan my face. I lean back in my seat and close my eyes for a moment while Caleb pampers me. With my eyes closed, my mind wanders to thoughts of heart transplants. I’m pretty close to the bottom of the transplant list right now. I just don’t have an urgent need for a new heart. But we all know that the time will come soon when I’m moved up to the top. It could be in ten years, five years, or tomorrow. This heart is a ticking time bomb inside my chest.

  The flushing finally passes. I open my eyes and the first thing I see is a wedding picture. Caleb continues to fan my face until I snatch the photos out of his hand.

  The pictures he’s using to cool me down are obviously from my birth parents’ wedding. It’s a picture of my father kissing my mother on the forehead as they stand on an altar surrounded by beautiful flowers and glittering lights. They look exactly like they did in the other pictures where they’re holding Baby Me. They must have gotten married soon before or after that day. Why did they give me up if they were so in love when I was born?

  “I want to meet them.”

  “You will,” Caleb replies as he slides the bottle of water back into his glove compartment.

  “No, I want to meet them now… Today. I want you to take me to meet them today. Can you check the memory card and see if there’s any contact information on there?”

  Caleb slides the memory card into the slot on his phone, then he browses through the contents. There are about forty family videos and one text document. My fingers tingle as he opens up the document and it contains a brief note.

  Dear Abigail,

  We hope this letter finds you well and that your eighteenth birthday was everything you hoped it would be. This is the second time we’re visiting the safe-deposit box since your last birthday, and we will probably do it every month or so for a while. We don’t know if you’ve read any of our letters, but we hope you have.

  We know you probably have a lot of questions, and the answers are far more nuanced than a letter can convey. If you’d give us the opportunity, we’d be honored to meet you at any location you choose. We are always here if you wish to talk.

  Sincerely,

  Chris and Claire Knight

  Underneath their names is an address and phone number.

  Ca
leb sits back in the driver’s seat, placing his phone down as he gazes at me across the space between us. “Are you sure you don’t want to give yourself some time to think about it first?”

  I turn in my seat a little so I can face him head-on, then I look him straight in the eye. “I don’t know when I’m going to die.”

  “Come on, Abby. Let’s not have that conversation again.”

  “Listen to me, Caleb. Whether we admit it to ourselves or not, my heart could give out for good at any moment. And there’s no guarantee they’ll find a donor in time.”

  “You don’t know that. I think there’s a very good chance they’ll find a donor when the time comes. You have O-negative blood type and you’re young and healthy.”

  “Stop. Just listen to me, please.” He heaves a long sigh and nods for me to continue. “The point is that I need to make the most of this opportunity. I need to meet them before it’s too late. Will you please take me?”

  The muscle in his jaw twitches as he clenches his teeth, then he nods slowly. “You know you don’t have to ask. I’ve been wanting you to do this for ages.”

  I smile and reach forward to place my hand on his cheek. “You’re amazing. You know that?”

  He shrugs and grabs my wrist so he can lay a soft kiss on my palm. “You don’t have to butter me up, sunshine. You know I’ll give you anything you want.” He places my hand back in my lap, then he grabs the stack of photos and sticks them in the glove compartment. “Let’s go make some 3D memories.”

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  FAITH IS A double-edged sword. A little faith is healthy, even essential to get us through difficult times. Too much faith and you’ll appear delusional. And you risk falling. The loftier your beliefs, the harder you’ll fall when reality knocks you off your cloud.